i wish life was like sims so you could just sell your posessions and get money instantly
(Source: sextattoos)
Women are not machines you put niceness coins into until sex comes out.
- Me: You have to trust me when I say i’m not going to do it.
- Cody: You fucken better not. I will rip out your eyes and shove them up your ass, so all you can see is poop.
- Annnnd this is why he’s my best friend.
(Source: iijasper)
(Source: ish0tandywarh0l)
i hope revving your motorcycle engine in the middle of the night made you feel better about your small penis









